


Kiseki

by orphan_account



Series: Miracles [1]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:41:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I had read about male pregnancies every now and then, but until now, all of that had been incredibly far away for me, because you never believed that these crazy things could actually happen to you, or people around you. Until I was suddenly right in the middle of it, and it scared the heck out of me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiseki

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thunderylee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/gifts), [(because she is the mpregadvocator)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%28because+she+is+the+mpregadvocator%29).



> Hey everyone!
> 
> So, yes, I really dared to write MPreg. I was never really a fan of it tbh, but this idea has been haunting me for months and Ri has been feeding my muse and yeah, finally I did it to have it out of my mind. I feel much calmer already.
> 
> If you don't like MPreg, think twice about reading this, but I tried to do it as good as I could, so I would be happy if you give it a try :)

Fuma’s POV

I had read about male pregnancies every now and then, of course. We all had. I mean, it was still not a common occurrence, but every time it became public, the pictures would be all over the newspapers, so it was really hard to escape the topic.

The scientists put it down to hormonal changes the human race was increasingly going through. An ongoing evolution, they called it. There were estimations about possible one in a hundred guys being biologically able to bear children without them even _knowing_ about it, and the number would only increase over the years. 

Until now, only few cases of actual pregnancies had been counted, but experts believed that the number of unreported cases and terminations was a lot higher.

But until now, all of that had been incredibly far away for me, because you never believed of these crazy things to actually happen to you, or people around you. 

Until I was suddenly right in the middle of it, and it scared the heck out of me. 

It had all started with Yugo, Kento and my combined birthday party. Since Yugo and Kento had turned 20, A.B.C-Z had stormed the party with alcohol, deciding to not only fill the two actually legal guys up, but also me. 

“Just one glass, it’s your birthday!” Kawai had argued as he had shoved the cocktail at me. “And it’s not like we will run to the press and tell on you! What happens in the jimusho stays in the jimusho!”

I had looked around for support helplessly, but Kento was already hopelessly wasted, giggling at everything Hokuto was telling him (the latter seeming highly amused), and as Hasshi slung an arm around me, I knew it was not worth the fight. 

I was not really sure what had happened afterwards – there were blurry pictures of drinks in different colors and the grinning faces of evil senpai and Kento. Lots of images of Kento. 

And then I woke up the next day, disoriented and with a sleeping Kento next to me. 

A _naked_ sleeping Kento, and even though my head was pounding as hell and I felt like I needed to throw up, this was enough to send me into a fit of panic. 

I had left Kento’s house without waking him up, and avoided him for the following two days, not knowing how to deal with the flashes of memory that were turning up again and again and the knowledge of what had happened between us.

Kento was my best friend and my band member. Drunk or not, you did not just have sex with your best friend. This was not right and it made things complicated and intense and I did not know how to do complicated. We were too busy with our jobs for complicated. 

When we next saw each other again at rehearsals, both of us seemed to pointedly avoid the other’s gaze. It made my heart race and it made me feel so so _uncomfortable_ to be in the same room with Kento and to remember how his voice had sounded when he had moaned my name, and at the same time the mere fact to be awkward around Kento was something completely alien to me and I had no idea how to deal with that. 

Kento seemed to feel the same, because after the rehearsals, he hung around until the others were gone, waiting until he could approach me.

“Listen, Fuma” he said finally, biting his lip. “That night…”

“We were drunk” I said quickly, gasping for air. “We did not know what we were doing!”

“… Yeah” Kento said slowly, gulping. “I just…I don’t want this to come in between us.”

“Me neither” I nodded, frowning. “We _can’t_ let this come in between us, I mean, we practically see each other every day.”

Kento nodded, not saying anything, though.

“So we’ll just agree to forget it?” I said hopefully, watching Kento’s face, for once so hard to interpret even though I usually knew him so well. 

“Yes” he nodded, sending me a small smile. “I mean, we are friends and… stuff like this shouldn’t be in our lives.”

“Exactly” I nodded, smiling in relief, though my heart was still jumping uncomfortably and I had no idea why. “So we’re good?”

“Of course we are” Kento chuckled, shoving at my shoulder playfully. “I’m not a girl you need to take care of, Fuma. Everything is fine.”

“Good” I smiled, willing my heartbeat to finally slow down, but somehow, it didn’t. 

Kento and I went more or less back to normal after this talk, but something was different. Our conversations seemed forced, and my heart was still beating uncomfortably fast around him, and sometimes I dreamt of our night together and when that happened, I had difficulties looking at him the next day. 

It continued like this for a little over a month until Kento very suddenly became sick. It happened from one minute to another – when I had last checked, he had still been goofing around with Sou and Marius, and then, all of a sudden, he was green in the face and running into the bathroom. 

When he still hadn’t returned twenty minutes later, Sou shoved me through the corridor to check on him. 

I found him on the floor in an open toilet stall, leaning against the wall next to the toilet, looking extremely pale.

“Are you okay?” I murmured, kneeling down on the floor next to him. “Did you catch anything?”

“I’m not sure” Kento murmured, looking up at me wearily. “Don’t come too close, who knows what it is.”

“You should go home” I said gently, reaching out a hand to help him up, and he took it, unsteadily getting to his feet. “I will tell the manager you have the flu, you know he will want you to go home before you infect the whole agency.”

“I guess you’re right” Kento murmured, and somehow he looked so fragile at this moment that it scared me a little, and stirred some kind of protectiveness inside of me that I was not quite used to.

I expected Kento to be out for the rest of the week after this, and was pretty surprised when he was back at work the next morning, looking as fit as ever.

“I felt good the moment I was home” Kento shrugged, seeming surprised himself. “Maybe I just ate something bad.”

I had let it drop, though I had still been skeptic, until, just as suddenly as the day before, Kento was turning all pale again and slipped out of the room without anyone but me noticing. 

I followed him quickly, catching him as he threw up all of his stomach’s contents into the toilet. 

“You are sick!” I told him angrily when he had finally flushed, tearing the door to his stall open to still find him on the floor, looking exactly as bad as when I had found him yesterday. “Just stay home when you don’t feel well, for god’s sake!”

“I was fine earlier” Kento argued weakly. “This is so weird.”

“Then go to a doctor” I said firmly, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up. “We need you in full shape! Take better care of yourself!”

“Okay, okay, I get it” Kento murmured, making a face. “I will go and have myself checked right away.”

I was so close to just bringing him to the doctor myself, but since we could hardly both disappear from work without giving our manager a heart attack, I had to trust his promise to just go by himself. 

I told him to send me a message when he got diagnosed, and kept checking my phone obsessively for the rest of the day, but there was nothing, and it had me pretty worried. I tried calling Kento on my way home, and after dinner, but still, there was no answer. 

I did not quite know why, but I had an incredibly bad feeling about this whole thing, and when I suddenly had Kento’s mother on the line, my fears seemed to be confirming themselves.

“Say, Fuma-Kun, is Kento with you?” she asked hesitantly, sounding just as worried as me. “He sent me a message from work that he would see a doctor because of his sickness, but that was six hours ago, and he still hasn’t returned home and doesn’t take my calls.”

“He is not answering me either” I said slowly, panic flooding through me. “I told him to send me a mail but he didn’t.”

It was then that I was sure something must have happened. Because Kento was anything but irresponsible. Worrying the people who loved him like this was not like him at all, and it scared the heck out of me. 

After his mother had hung up, saying she would try to contact his friends from university, I called about everyone we knew, from Hokuto and Yugo to Marius, Sou and Shori to Okamoto Keito or Shigeoka Daiki, but no one had heard anything of Kento, and it made me panic. 

I was just getting into my shoes to go search for him when it rang on the doorbell. A rush of hope went through me and I tore the door open, my heart almost stopping when I recognized Kento in front of me, pale and with red and puffy eyes.

I had no mind to pay to his condition, though, as rage went through me and then I was shouting at him.

“WHERE WERE YOU?!” I yelled. “YOU WORRIED YOUR MOTHER AND ME SENSELESSLY!”

“I’m sorry” Kento whispered, his voice barely audible. “I just… I need to talk to you, Fuma, please.”

I scanned his face, my panic still ruling my mind, and I blurted out desperately: “Are you ill?! Do you have cancer or something?!”

Kento blinked, seeming confused at that conclusion of mine. 

“What?!” he murmured. “I- no- it’s nothing like that. Please, Fuma, can you just let me in? I really need to talk to you.”

I tried to calm my breathing as I let him inside. My eyes were on him all the time as he removed his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket, noticing how he moved somehow gingerly, and even though he had ensured me just now that he had no serious illness, I could not quite believe him yet. 

We walked up to my room in silence, and I closed the door behind us, leaning against it as he sat down on my bed. 

“What is going on?” I said finally, watching his face for any changes as he looked up at me.

“… Maybe you should sit down” he suggested hesitantly.

“I’m fine standing, thanks” I murmured, and Kento gulped but just nodded. “What is it, Kento?! Start talking already!” I burst out impatiently.

Kento balled his shaking fingers into a fist, and I was distracted by that for a moment, almost missing it when he started speaking.

“Have you ever heard of male pregnancies?” 

I blinked, my eyes returning to his face, realizing how scared he looked, and then his words sank in.

“… _No_ ”I breathed, feeling heady, suddenly.

“The doctor said I am in the sixth week” he murmured, not looking at me. 

I only kept staring at him, before shaking my head, having difficulties breathing.

“No” I said simply. “This can’t be… no!”

“I asked the doctor a thousand times if it was a mistake” Kento said, his voice high. “But then he sent me to the gynecologist and she made a pregnancy test and…”

“But you are a guy!” I pointed out needlessly.

“I know that!” Kento called. “Don’t think you’re the only one who is surprised!”

“But this is crazy!” I continued, my voice getting louder. “How did that even-“

“I think you and I know very well _how_ ” Kento groaned impatiently.

“So you mean I’m the father?!” I shrieked.

“What did you think?! Did you put me for someone who’s sleeping around?!” Kento demanded, seeming furious at my words. 

“No” I said quickly, but my head was still spinning and it was hard to think straight. “But Kento, this is just-“

“Don’t think you are the only one who is freaked out!” Kento called, and his voice was breaking, and it was then that I saw the tears in his eyes. “This is _my_ body, if I may remind you, not yours, and the doctor was talking about hormones and risks and I did only understand half of it, and-“

Kento could himself off with a sharp intake of breath, and a tear slipped his eyes, and something inside of me snapped. 

Next thing I knew, I was halfway across the room, pulling Kento into my arms. His whole body was trembling and he let out a sob as he pressed his face into my shoulder and all of that made it hard for me to breathe. 

“I’m sorry” I whispered, my own voice shaking. “You caught me off guard.”

Kento whimpered and I held him a little tighter and sat down on the bed next to him. I don’t know how long we sat like this until Kento finally pulled away, getting out a tissue and blowing his nose. 

My eyes were still on his face, waiting until his gaze met mine again. 

“What are we going to do now?” I asked finally. 

“What do you expect me to do?!” Kento asked in a choked voice. “I set a date for an abortion at the end of the week.”

I felt as if with his words, Kento had emptied a bucket of ice water over my head. 

“You are kidding me, right?” I whispered, shaking my head. “You can’t be serious!”

“We can’t have a baby, Fuma!” Kento protested, his eyes wide. “We have careers and university and – what will the fans say?! What will Johnny say?! I-“

“I don’t care what Johnny will say!” I called. “This is not about what others will think, it’s about us, Kento!”

“What ‘us’?!” Kento demanded. “We are not in a relationship, and you won’t even properly look at me ever since we slept with each other! You fucking ran for the hills the morning after! And now you want to raise a child with me?!”

“I was overstrained!” I called defensively. “But those are two different pair of shoes, Kento! There is a baby inside of you! _Our_ baby!”

“Which we can’t have!” he called desperately. “You can talk, you’re not the one going through this!”

“But you’re not alone in this, either!” I argued. “We will find a way, Kento, just let us try!”

I was about to reach out for his arm, but he shook his head firmly and stood up, putting a good distance between us.

“I can’t do this, Fuma!” he said vehemently. “I am not strong enough to throw my whole life away for this!”

“Kento” I whispered pleadingly, but he just shook his head again, and turned his back to me to walk out of the door. 

I lay awake all night after Kento left, trying to sort out my thoughts, but everything was still spinning and blurring into each other and I wanted to scream. 

I had never thought that this could happen to me, but now that it had, I knew that I would not let this go without a fight.

Kento was my best friend, and when I was honest with myself, he was the most important person to me. Whenever something was wrong in my life, he was the first one I went to. And losing him would literally kill me, I knew that much. 

And now he was carrying our baby. Sure, it had been a drunken one night stand and none of us had planned this, but now that it had happened… It was _our_ baby. 

Also, Kento had been saying that he was not strong enough to go through all of this, but… to be honest, I was not sure if he was strong enough for the _abortion_ , of all things. Kento was more sensitive than he sometimes liked to admit, and he absolutely adored kids. I had seen the look in his eyes when he had played with my little sister, and I could not in any universe imagine him going through an abortion without it ending in a trauma for him. 

It were these thoughts that had me standing on the Nakajimas’ doorsteps first thing this morning. It was his mother opening the door, and she looked just as tired as me, and it told me all about what had happened last night after Kento had come home.

“Fuma-Kun” she sighed, seeming relieved to see me, stepping aside to let me in.”If you hadn’t come, I would have called you myself… I just… Do you know anything?! Kento is not talking, and…Who is the father, Fuma-Kun?”

Everything inside of me tightened at the thought that Kento had not told them about me, and I needed to gulp before I could make myself speak.

“I need to talk to Kento” I said simply, avoiding her questions. “Please.”

She sighed and nodded, squeezing my shoulder before taking a step into the corridor.

“Kento?” she called, so loud that her voice would reach upstairs into his room. “Kento, come down for a moment, please!”

At first nothing happened and I wondered if he would ignore her, before I heard slow footsteps and looked up to the top of the stairs. 

When Kento finally appeared, he still looked pale and exhausted, and when he recognized me standing in the hallway, he froze.

For a moment, we just stared at each other, before he turned on his heels and dashed for his room. He was not fast enough, though, and I hurried after him until I caught his wrist between my fingers.

“Kento, you can’t just run away from me!” I called desperately.

“I told you all that I am thinking last night!” he said loudly, his voice trembling. “There is nothing more to say!”

“Yes there is!” I called. “You can’t honestly think that you can just abort this child, Kento! You are not that kind of guy!”

“You can’t make me deliver it!” he called, shaking off my hand and turning to face me. I saw that he had tears in his eyes again, and everything inside of me hurt at the sight. “This is not your decision, Fuma!”

“I’m not saying that it is!” I called, and my own throat tightened as an announcement of the tears that were crawling up on me. “I’m not going to force you to do anything, but Kento, _I know you_! I know you better than anyone, and I know that you are going to regret this!”

“What do you want me to do?!” he demanded, biting his lip to keep his tears in check. “Quit the job I love and give up everything for a child I am not even sure I will be able to bear, with as bad as this field of medicine is researched?!”

“I don’t want you to do anything!” I gasped, my own tears slipping my eyes. “I just want you to know that I will be there for you whatever way you choose, and tell you that you are in no way or form pressured to do this abortion!”

Kento closed his eyes at my words, taking a shaky breath, and I reached out for his hand, entwining our shaking fingers. 

“It may be a hard way” I admitted, squeezing his hand. “And none of us really knows what to expect yet, but whatever you choose, Kento, I will be with you! You’re not in this alone!”

Kento let out a strangled sob, and I crossed the distance between us to pull him into my arms. Kento clung to my shirt as we cried in each other’s arms, and I had a feeling that, if only a little, I managed to break down his walls. 

When we had managed to calm down at least a little, Kento’s mother asked us to all sit down together in the living room, and we talked openly about what to do.

It seemed like Kento’s mother was more relieved than shocked to hear that I was the father, and that I was actually ready to take responsibility for the baby, if Kento would let me. She seemed against an abortion as well, and though Kento listened to both of our arguments, his decision stayed the same. 

“I just can’t do this” he insisted. “I did not even plan to marry before I was thirty or something! Much less to bear a child under circumstances like these! I just… can’t.”

It was the desperation in his eyes that made me resign. Because Kento meant too much for me to force something into him he really didn’t want.

“Okay” I said finally, making him look up at me. “If that is your decision, than I will support that, too. I will go to the doctor with you when you have the abortion. I will be by your side.”

“Fuma” Kento whispered, and I took his hand. 

“I told you, whichever way you choose, I will be with you” I said simply. 

Kento squeezed my hand, and watching us, his mother seemed to give up her hope as well. 

I barely left Kento’s side at all until the date for the abortion. Both of us had called in sick at work, and only in my case it was a lie, really, because Kento was still fighting his morning sickness, and I don’t think I could have left him alone even if he had thrown me out. Watching him suffer and knowing that he was carrying out the consequences of both our actions hurt more than Icould have ever imagined, and all I wanted was to take care of him. 

He let me, to a certain degree, but there were times when he had this detached look in his eyes and I felt like I could not quite reach him. One night, I found him crying into his pillow after I came back from a shower, and though he did not talk even when I hugged him and tried to comfort him silently, I could tell that he was still fighting with his decision. 

He looked worse than ever when his mother brought us to the doctor the morning his abortion was set to happen. At first she wanted to come with us, but Kento had vehemently protested, and I was glad that he allowed at least me to accompany him, if only into the waiting room.

He still did not really talk to me, apart from the necessary, and I felt sick in the stomach as I watched him next to me, looking like a ghost of himself.

“You don’t need to do this” I reminded him. “I mean, it’s okay if that’s what you really want, but if you don’t… We will find a way. Don’t force yourself.”

Kento looked up at me, and I think he wanted to say something, but then his name was called. He gulped, hesitating for a moment, before making himself stand up.

He did not look at me as he followed the nurse, and everything inside of me tightened as I watched him leave. 

I did not have long to sort through my confused feelings, though, because only a few minutes later, the nurse was back in the room, approaching me directly and asking me to follow her.

“He is having a mental breakdown” she explained, taking fast steps through the corridors with me hurrying after her. “He is asking for you.”

When she opened the door to the treatment room, I spotted Kento on a chair, already in a hospital robe, but his face in his hands, shaking from the sobs. 

I was over at his side in lightning speed, pulling him into my arms, and Kento clung to me.

“I can’t, Fuma” he whimpered. “You’re right, I really can’t do this.”

“Then don’t!” I said simply. “We will find a way, I told you. We will do this together.”

Kento sobbed, and finally nodded, and a wave of relief stronger than I had ever felt it washed through me.

I knew that this was only the start of it, that it would only get harder from here on. But for now, I was just happy that we would have this child together, no matter what awaited us on the way.

***

Telling my family was easier as I had expected. They had already assumed that something was off, with the way I had stayed at Kento’s side during the last week, and were more or less relieved that it was nothing “worse”. Of course, they had not expected this kind of outcome, but Kento was already as good as part of our family, and they promised to give us their full support despite our unusual situation. 

Telling our friends was a little more embarrassing, at least for Kento. He discussed about it with me for days until I finally took it onto myself to just call Hokuto and Yugo over.

The two of them had been closest to us even after the breakup of B.I. Shadow, and though they were pretty shocked when we told them what was going on, they took it pretty well.

“If this is what you decided, and then you will have our full support” Yugo said, speaking especially gently with Kento, and I appreciated his effort a lot. 

“We got your back” Hokuto nodded and smiled encouragingly. “And whenever you need a baby sitter, feel free to call.”

The talk that both of us feared most, though, was the talk with Johnny Kitagawa himself. Kento was incredibly restless, barely sleeping the nights before our appointment with him, even though he was in his eighth week by now and his body was running amok with him, leaving him more tired and more easily sick than ever. 

When we explained the situation to Johnny and the management, all of them were straight out shocked, at first. We needed to show Johnny all of the documents we had received from Kento’s gynecologist, and even then, he kept staring at them with a shaking head and murmuring incredulous things. 

In the end, we all decided that Kento would continue working for one more month, until it would be obvious for everyone that he was putting on weight. After that, he would go into maternity leave (even if Kento cringed at the work), and the rest of us would be promoted more actively until he could return when the baby was born. 

“Also, you should think about how you want to treat the subject in public” he said with a sour look. “I can always ask you to hide relationships and secret girlfriends – or boyfriends, whichever – but I cannot ask you to hide a baby. So if you want to make a public announcement, I cannot keep you.”

Kento seemed terrified at the thought of a public announcement, but when we were at home (I was practically living in his room now, and we were thinking about getting our own place soon), we talked about it calmly, and agreed that it was a good idea.

“I am fucking scared of what the public will say” he whispered. “But on the other hand, we cannot just hide a baby. It’s not fair to the child.”

I nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it. 

“It will all be fine” I promised, more confident than I felt, but if it was to calm Kento down, I would forever lie to him. “You will see.”

Kento smiled at me, not seeming to believe me, but clearly appreciating the effort.

Telling the band was more or less easier than I would have thought. Marius grinned brightly and congratulated us, not at all letting anything on about this whole situation being strange, and Shori seemed so frozen that he needed about five minutes to find any words. 

In the end, they all ensured us of their support, though, and Sou kept calling our baby “the new member”, and it was kind of adorable. 

By the end of Kento’s 9th week, everyone in the agency seemed to know about Kento’s pregnancy, even if he did not show it yet (though he kept insisting that his stomach was growing, even if I called him paranoid). 

A.B.C-Z stormed our living room with a van worth of baby clothes, gushing all over Kento and kept pestering us about baby names and gender. I heard from Juri that there was a bet going on between the Juniors when Kento and I would sneak off to the US to marry in secret, no matter how often I told him that we were not even a couple. Not really, at least. That it was complicated. Juri had only rolled his eyes at me, clearly not having any of it, and at some point, I had just stopped trying to convince him.

Kento still seemed incredibly uncomfortable about the whole attention, though I was sure that he was at least a little happy when Yamada brought him a drink during Shokura filming and told him not to overdo it. 

When it came to Kento and me, things were pretty complicated, and I was not quite sure what to make out of it. We never talked about our feelings for each other, but I was around him 24/7 lately, and little touches and displays of affection had become the most normal thing without any of us really noticing it.

Also, I had begun to feel pretty intense things for Kento, and I was not sure if that was entirely down to him carrying my baby. Sure, I was incredibly protective of him; I kept carrying things for him when he was still perfectly able to do it himself, or kept watching him for any small sign of discomfort. 

But there were also other things, some I could not quite explain yet, and I became increasingly sure that the things I was feeling for him were starting to go beyond friendship. 

It was hard to tell what Kento was feeling, though, because, to be frank, his feelings were one huge tornado of emotions. The hormones had started to get the best of him, and in one moment, he was laughing and excited about tiny little things like a baby on TV or cupcakes, and in the next moment, he was crying and angsting over things I did not even quite understand. 

I tried my best to always be there for him, to listen and to talk about his feelings because this was what his gynecologist had suggested when I had asked her during the first ultra sound, but sometimes, it was hard to keep up with him. 

In his twelfth week, the morning sickness finally disappeared, and all in all he seemed a little less exhausted, and it calmed me a lot. 

Also, there were other changes about him. Nothing too obvious, because if you did not know that he was pregnant you could still not tell, but all in all, he seemed to have developed an aura around him. His skin was shining and his hair looked softer and he even smelled better and when he was around, I was somehow starting to lose track of things.

As much as his physical condition was starting to get better, though, his emotions kept getting messier, and as much as I tried to make him happy with small things, he seemed to be moved to tears far too easily lately, and it hurt me to watch it.

It was one night, when we were up in his room and I was in the internet checking apartment listings, when he was watching me that way and suddenly murmured: “You don’t need to do this, you know?”

“What?” I asked in confusion, looking up at him. 

“Moving in with me” he said uncomfortably. “Or being around me all the time like you are now. I am pregnant, but I am not helpless. I can take care of myself.”

“But I want to be around you” I said defensively, the thought about Kento pushing me only the tiniest bit out of his life scaring me. “I _want_ to take care of you!” When Kento was still frowning, I asked unsurely: “Or am I annoying you?”

“No!” he said quickly, shaking his head. “I am really appreciating what you are doing and you are a big help! It’s just…”

“What?” I asked gently, closing the laptop.

Kento gulped, and I wondered if maybe, I would finally hear what had been bothering him all this time.

Finally, he said, so fast that I almost didn’t catch it: “I don’t want you to have to act like you are my boyfriend, because we both know you aren’t.”

My heart sank at his words, and I had to look away from him because it stung so much.

“I get it” I said finally, nodding, clearing my throat because my voice sounded choked. “I was getting too close, right? I’m sorry, I know you don’t have these kind of feelings for me.”

Kento made a face before shaking his head.

“That’s not it” he murmured before groaning. “Why are you making me say this?!”

I frowned, looking at him questioningly before he started speaking again. 

“It’s not like I wouldn’t want you as my boyfriend. You would be the best boyfriend I could wish for” he murmured regretfully. “It’s just… if you treat me so well, I will get used to it, and I will forget… that it is just for the baby.”

I looked at him for a moment, trying to interpret his words, before I threw all care to hell and crawled over the mattress to pull him into my arms. 

Kento was shaking a little under my touch, and I squeezed him before asking, very quietly: “What if it’s not just for the baby?”

“Huh?” Kento whispered, looking up at me. 

“I think I love you” I whispered, and it came out so easily that I surprised myself. Kento looked at me with big eyes, and I continued: “This is not just for the baby, the baby is still kind of a periphery being for me. At the moment, you are my main priority, and I feel like the more time we spent together, the deeper I am falling in love with you.”

The tears in Kento’s eyes welled up faster than I could have finished speaking, and I sighed, cupping his cheeks. 

“Don’t cry” I whispered. “You know I can’t take your tears.”

“Damned hormones” he gasped, and I chuckled a little, catching one tear with my thumb. “I love you too” he said finally, sneaking his arms around my waist to hold onto me tightly. “Did already even before we slept with each other.”

“Really?” I asked, a little thrown by this.

“Yes” he nodded. “But I didn’t want to say anything because I knew you only saw me as a friend.”

“Well, no I don’t” I said quickly, and Kento smiled through his tears, and a warmth spread through me that I was not at all familiar is, but it was the nicest thing I had ever felt. 

When I leaned down to kiss him, it felt like going with the flow, and Kento tightened his grip around me as he moved his lips against mine demandingly. My whole body seemed to tingle in our closeness, and I suddenly found it hard to breathe, feeling heady as I held him against me. 

When Kento finally broke away for air, he seemed as dazed as I felt, and it made me smile a little. 

“I bet the baby is very happy now that its Daddies are finally getting their shit together” I murmured, and Kento chuckled. 

“I hope the baby is not yet too aware of everything, or I might feel bad for some needs my body has now” he murmured, his voice breathy. 

“Needs?” I caught on, enjoying as Kento flushed, and diving into another kiss instead of teasing him. 

Everything after that seemed easy and natural, as if it had been meant to happen from the start. Kento’s skin under my fingers felt amazing, and I would never get enough of the small gasps and little moans I earned when I touched him just right. 

Kento seemed a little insecure about me touching his belly, though I laughed at him because seriously, there was nothing to _see_ yet, but he got over it when I caressed his stomach with gentle kisses, his hands knotting in my hair as he let me do whatever I pleased with him. 

I enjoyed spoiling Kento a lot, and I wished I had a better recollection of our first night together because I really wanted to know if he became more sensitive with the pregnancy, or if he had always been this responsive. 

When I closed my lips around the tip of his erection, he let out the most beautiful moan of my name, fueling me on to take him in deeper, and all of his reaction were so worth the effort. 

When my fingers circled Kento’s rim, he arched his hips into my mouth, and I tried my best to hold them down with my free hand as I entered him. 

Kento’s body accepted me strangely easily, not putting up a lot of resistance though it had clearly been a while since out last time. I still went extremely slow, afraid of hurting him, and it made Kento a little impatient, pulling at my hair.

“I’m not going to break” he groaned after a while, and then I grazed something inside of Kento and he jerked. “Damn” he murmured. “Fuma, I swear-“

I intently stroked that spot again, and the words got stuck in his throat. When I finally pulled my fingers out of him and my mouth off his shaft, Kento was panting and glistening in sweat and somehow he looked more beautiful than ever. 

“I love you” I whispered, and Kento met my eyes and smiled.

“Then show me” he said simply, and I grinned before leaning down and positioning myself. 

I kissed him as I entered him, and Kento’s hands clung to my back desperately, and I felt engulfed not only physically but emotionally as well. He was hot and tight around me and I found it hard to think with the pleasure surging through me, but his lips against mine kept me grounded enough. 

Kento moved against me, desperate for any kind of friction, and even though I wanted to go slow, his impatience kept fueling me on until I had built a quick rhythm and found myself too high too soon. 

“Fuma” Kento whispered against my lips, and I could tell from the way his grip on me tightened and his muscles pulsated around me that he was close. I was just about to sneak a hand in between us to touch his erection, but then I seemed to hit that spot inside of him again and he jerked under me, moaning into my mouth.

It took only a few more thrusts before he came, long and intense and tightening down around me so much that I followed right after him, losing all track of anything that wasn’t Kento.

When I came back to myself again, I had collapsed onto Kento, and he was stroking my hair lazily, his heartbeat returning back to normal where my ear was pressed against his chest. 

It was so relaxing that I would have napped away, if I had not noticed that I was practically resting all my weight on his stomach and the _baby_.

I jumped up with a yelp, and Kento looked at me in confusion before chuckling.

“I am not that far along, Fuma” he rolled his eyes but I frowned at him and instead settled down next to him, holding out my arm for him to snuggle into me, which he accepted with a sigh. 

“I wished that would have been our first time” I said longingly, and I saw Kento smile as I looked down into his face.

“For me it kind of is” he said simply, and I grinned.

“And where did the baby come from?!” I teased. 

“The whole conception was a miracle anyways, so who cares” he shrugged, making me laugh and kiss his forehead. 

***

In Kento’s thirteenth week, a lot of stuff happened at once.

First of all, Kento’s stomach finally started to grow visibly, even if he had been telling me that it had already been growing all the time. I had not really noticed it at first, but then I had caught Kento standing in front of the mirror without a shirt and it had hit me that this was really a baby tummy, small but clearly noticeable.

I had immediately fallen in love with it as soon as I had taken note of it, and Kento teased me for the way I kept touching or kissing it, but I knew that secretly he loved it.

Then, Kento had his last working day with a Shokura filming. He was already wearing wider clothes and was _really_ unhappy with that, muttering all the time that he looked like a hobo, or _me_ , but I let that slip and wrote it down to his hormones. 

After the filming, the whole crew surprised us with a baby party, and Kento was sobbing like your general pregnant woman, and I would have snapped at them if it weren’t the happy kind of tears. 

Also, a lot of Senpai had made their way to Kento’s surprise party, and who had not been able to make it did sent presents. 

There was all of NEWS there, and while Koyama kept giving Kento advice he had picked up from his sister, Tegoshi told Kento to watch his weight, and it was the first time that I wondered if Kento would punch a Senpai. Kisumai had also shown their faces, Nikaido far too excited and starting a plushie battle with Senga, and Fujigaya seeming far too unconcerned about the whole baby shower deal and sitting in a corner fussing over Marius. Uchi had brought Taguchi and Ohkura, and while Taguchi kept throwing puns about baby names into the room, Ohkura kept fussing over how his little brother from Umareru was having a baby before him.

In the end, we had more baby stuff than we could carry home, and we stuffed most of the things into my room because I lived at Kento’s anyways and if one or two toys got into the hands of my sister, well, we would not notice anyways.

And last but not least, we finally found an apartment. It was huge for Tokyo standards, with 2 big bedrooms and a living dining kitchen, and the neighborhood was close to the city center, as Kento had insisted, but also quiet, as _I_ had insisted. 

We couldn’t move in until Kento’s sixteenth week, though, which was kind of okay because it gave us some time to choose furniture and above all stuff for the baby’s room, which seemed to become Kento’s new hobby. 

In the fourteenth week, we had another appointment at Kento’s gynecologist, and she revealed to us that we would be having a baby girl. Both of us practically cooed over the news, and Jesse and Juri won 10,000 yen each from the general bet that had been in the room. 

When we were finally able to move into the new house, we gathered together half of the older Juniors and A.B.C-Z to help. Of course, I forbade Kento to carry anything, so he sat down on our new couch in the middle of the living room and gave instructions, munching away on the sweets Jesse had brought from his grandma’s house. 

Kento seemed a lot more content as soon as we had moved into our own apartment, and I discovered another perk of the pregnancy – he seemed to _always_ want sex. 

And who was I to deny him that, since I had been the one knocking him up in the first place?

It was from the fifth month on, that things started to become a little more complicated. But those problems were self made, and worried Kento more than was probably good for the baby.

We had agreed weeks ago that we would make his pregnancy and our relationship public, both for the sake of the child and because we did not want to hide, but the closer the date to the press conference came, the more nervous Kento got. 

The fans had slowly started to notice that Kento had gone on hiatus, and there were discussions in the internet, and when I wasn’t around, all Kento seemed to be doing was reading them, even if I scolded him for it. 

It made me feel really bad about myself for a while because I knew how much Kento _loved_ his job. He was a born idol and practically made for this industry, and that his career might suffer from carrying out my child made me feel pretty guilty. 

On the day of the press conference, Kento looked so pale that I first wanted to forbid him going in the first place, and we had a small argument, but as the time came nearer, Kento clung to my hand and never let go of me.

I actually did not have much recollection of the press conference itself – I had experienced it like a third person, almost surreal. 

Of course, the news exploded through the country and the fandom like a bomb, and it was all over the internet, newspapers or TV. The opinions were mixed: the media was curious, of course, trying to make the most out of this story; the fans were separated in two lairs – one gushing over the events because their OTP just became reality, and the other part threatening to leave the fandom because their dream prince was pregnant with his band mates baby. 

Of course, there was also a lot of mockery, but all in all, I felt more relieved now that it was out, and even Kento seemed to have come to terms with the situation. 

Both of us were surprised when I was offered a drama role, but we took it as a good sign, and it kept me busy during Sexy Zone’s hiatus, and to be honest, it kept money coming in for both of us, too. 

The only problem was that when I was out filming, Kento was sitting at home, incredibly bored and still on an emotional rollercoaster ride. It made him even more clingy to me than before, and the moment I came home each day he almost jumped me (only not so physically because I would have yelled at him for that). 

Which was nice and all, but I was tired, and my pregnant boyfriend demanding sex each night did not help the matter, even if Yugo straight out laughed at me when I mentioned that during Shokura filming.

“This is not funny!” I snapped at him, but Yugo shook his head at me, still laughing.

“You have luxury problems” he snorted. “Others would be happy to get laid every day!”

“I am tired!” I whined. 

“Then tell Kento that” Yugo shrugged, as if it was the easiest thing in the universe, and I wanted to rip off his head. 

“If I tell him, he will think that I find him unattractive and will make a huge scene!” I growled at him. “He keeps mumbling about how much of a whale he has become recently anyways, so I should really not feed those insecurities!”

“Well, then stop complaining about it” Yugo shrugged. “Suck it up like a man who knocked his best friend up!”

Taiga turned up just in time to snatch the microphone out of my hand before I knocked my other friend _out_ with it. 

Not so surprisingly, the whole thing actually _did_ escalate only a few days after that talk. I had come home from an especially long and bad day, and had not even managed to make my way from the corridor into the living room when Kento was already kissing my back, and it was just too much.

“Kento, not now, okay” I had murmured automatically, shrugging him off to get something to drink. 

When I turned to look at him again, Kento was sitting on the couch, staring straight ahead, jaw set, and I knew that I had said the wrong thing.

“Don’t” I murmured with a whine. “This is not what I meant, okay?!”

“I did not even say anything!” Kento snapped testily.

“But I can see it in your face, all about your expression screams ’rejection’!” I groaned. “I’m just tired, okay? This has nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah” Kento scoffed, and I whined. 

“Don’t make this so difficult” I pleaded. “Try to understand me a little, okay?!”

“I’ve been trying to understand you all the time!” Kento shrieked, and I knew by the tone of Kento’s voice that I already lost the argument. “Have you once heard me whining to you about _anything_ I’ve been going through lately?! Have I once complained about going to the prenatal classes with my _Mum_?! Have I asked you to go to any gynecologist appointments with me?! Have I been whining to you about how my back fucking hurts so much that I don’t even want to move sometimes, how my feet hurt, how your daughter is kicking so much that I can’t even sleep 2 hours straight?!”

“ _Why_ did you not tell me any of this?!” I demanded desperately. “I never asked you to hold back!”

“Because I did not want to make your life any harder!” Kento groaned. “I know you are working hard and I feel bad enough as it is sitting here doing nothing! The last thing I want is to whine at you!”

“Okay, stop!” I called. “First, you are not _sitting here doing nothing_ , you are PREGNANT! You are supposed to take it easy and this is nothing to feel bad about!”

“Say that again when you are sitting here all day watching stupid dramas!” Kento yelled. “I can’t even really play piano because my stomach is in the way! I feel so damn useless!”

“You are not useless!” I called. “You just-“

“All I want when you come home is some intimacy to make me feel good about myself!” Kento interrupted me, and there were tears in his eyes again and _shit_. “But yeah, I wouldn’t want to fuck myself either, with the way I look right now!”

“Stop!” I whined. “I never said that! I love touching you and being close to you and I am still as attracted to you as I was months ago before your belly showed! I am just tired, that’s all!”

“Well, welcome to my world!” Kento said sarcastically, and I sighed, shaking my head as I sat down next to him.

“I’m sorry” I said after a while, much calmer now, and I tried to ignore Kento’s sniffing politely. “I really did not mean it in a bad way. And I want you to _talk_ to me, Kento, and not try to solve everything by yourself!”

“You’re too tired to have sex with me, and you want me to bombard you with my problems?!” he scoffed.

“YES” I said pointedly. “Sometimes I just want to cuddle and listen to you talk! There are other ways of giving intimacy, too, and that has nothing to do with the question if I find you attractive or not.”

“And I am the one taking female hormones” Kento mumbled, and I rolled my eyes before putting my arm around his waist, deciding to end this argument for once and for all.

“I love you” I stated simply, watching Kento’s face. “I love you with your big belly and your bulging feet and your raging hormones. And I want you to be open to me, so that I can catch you when you feel down. So that it won’t even be such a big deal if I just nap off on the couch for a night in between.”

Kento rolled his eyes, but I knew that I had been forgiven when he leaned his head against my shoulder. I smiled, running my hand up and down his back, and Kento suppressed a moan, which made me freeze in my actions. 

“Kentooooo” I murmured wearily.

“No!” he said quickly. “That just… feels good. My back is so tense.”

I dug my fingers into his lower back again, and his muscles felt like stone, making me gasped.

“Why do you not _say_ anything?!” I groaned, pushing him away gently to turn him around with his back to me. 

When I started massaging Kento’s tense muscles, he whimpered in ecstasy, and I sighed at him.

“We should make a schedule” I suggested. “2 days a week massage, 2 days a week cuddling and talking, 3 days a week sex.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad” Kento murmured, gasping when I found a knot in his shoulders. 

“Compromises are the best” I said sweetly, and finally, Kento laughed.

***

All went more or less well for the next two months. Kento became bigger and bigger and his hormones did never take a break, he became slower in everything he did, and became less focused, more prone to forgetting things, but it was all okay because it were usual pregnancy syndromes, as his gynecologist had ensured us. 

Fact was that we were working better together as a team than ever, so much that our friends started to roll their eyes at us for being that insanely cute couple we were. 

When the eighth month started, I began to become increasingly restless, though. I asked Hokuto, Yugo, the other band members and our parents to pay Kento regular visits at home while I was working, always paranoid of something happening when he was alone, and ending up writing him tons of messages a day.

Kento did not complain much since the visitors gave him something to do. He especially enjoyed it when my Mum was over with my sister, spending the afternoons playing with her and moving so much that at the end of the day, I’d find him sleeping on the couch when I came home. 

The only time he had put his foot down was when Kawai had stood on our doorstep. I had sworn to him that it was an emergency because Hokuto had been busy, but he had threatened me to make me sleep on the couch if it happened one more time, and I had retaliated.

My fears did turn out as not so futile, though, when Yugo called me one day on work, asking me to come to the hospital, and almost giving me a heart attack.

Turned out that Kento had been suffering from premonitory pains, which were not that dangerous, really, but they were a sign that we needed to monitor him. His body was not exactly benefactory for bearing a child, and the farther the pregnancy progressed, the higher the risks became, we were told. 

It scared me enough to want to quit all my current jobs, but Kento had rolled his eyes at me and called me paranoid. At least his mother shared my worry, and she promised to look out for him every day when I was not around, which Kento only grudgingly accepted, and sarcastically called it “Kento sitting”. 

There were no more unpleasant surprises, though, and when Kento’s ninth month began, the gynecologist set the date for the c-section two weeks early. 

“The child is healthy and heavy enough” she had explained when we had voiced our doubts. “And Nakajima-Kun will be fighting more and more with his body the more time progresses. It is better to end it sooner.”

Kento protested that he was fine, but I actually saw her point – by now, Kento barely hadany appetite, and all he did was sleeping, really, and it worried me immensely. 

For the last week, I took vacation (much to my managers annoyance, but I did not care in the slightest), spending it completely with Kento. He enjoyed the attention, and seemed actually calmer the closer the birth date came than I was.

“Really, I am happy when she is finally here” he had murmured once, sighing as he had settled into my embrace. “I’m tired of her kicking me in the guts all the time and doing in my back.”

“She will probably be screaming all night, though” I mused. “And keep us away all the time, loud like her Papa.”

“Hey” he chuckled, elbowing me, but not hard enough to hurt. 

The day of the c-section, I was a nervous mess, and Kento kept rolling his eyes at me for making such a ruckus. 

I stayed by his side during the procedure, and when the anesthesia set in, I watched Kento’s eyes close, and whispered to him that when he woke up, he would meet our daughter. He drifted away with a smile on his lips.

The procedure was messy and nerve-wracking, but it was all worth it when I finally held out daughter in my arms. She had Kento’s eyes and, thankfully, his lips, but I could recognize the cheek bones and the form of the face from myself. 

She had screamed when she had been born, but had stopped the moment I had started speaking to her, apparently recognizing my voice. It made all the times I had talked to Kento’s belly so worth it, even if he had laughed at me for it. 

Kento woke up only hours later, still half in a trance, but when I told him that our daughter was healthy and the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen, he smiled and told me that he had not expected anything else.

I had not cried ever since Kento and I had discussed over the abortion, but when I saw Kento holding our daughter in his arms, I could not stop the tears. 

“How do we call her?” Kento asked, smiling as the baby grabbed his finger and held onto it tightly. 

I looked at Kento and her for a moment, before blurting out, without even thinking about it: “Kiseki!”

Kento blinked, chuckling as he looked at me.

“Kiseki?!” he repeated. “Is that even a name?!”

I just shrugged, moving closer to the and stroking her dark curls.

“It fits her” I whispered. “She is a miracle.”

Kento smiled, looking at her one more time before whispering: “What do you say, Kiseki-Chan?” 

The baby gurgled sleepily, and we chuckled.

“I think that’s a yes” Kento nodded, and I leaned in to kiss him.

**Author's Note:**

> Liked it? Please leave a comment, I would be happy about it! :D
> 
> Still, there is something else I would like to address - again and again I am receiving anonymous hate comments, and I am really tired of them. They are hurtful and have no base in their contents and something like this should not be in this fandom. If you have a problem with me, feel free to address me directly, but give me a chance to answer back, because anon comments are the most coward thing. I am always open for constructive criticism, but calling me a thief or a attention-whore is no acceptable level, it's just rude and I wonder what you want to reach with this, other than attention (haha, sarcasm). 
> 
> Anyways, I have enough readers and friends who support me and I will not stop writing for any comment you leave me, so better give up. You should be ashamed of how low you are stooping. 
> 
> Okay that was it, sorry for the too serious words :)


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